“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
Staring out at a near-deserted pool at the Orlando Hilton the week before Thanksgiving with a strawberry lemonade in hand, I can’t believe my luck. Our middle son, Leo, needed to attend the IAAPA convention (The International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions – say that three times fast) and, being nineteen, can’t rent a car or book a hotel room, yet. Mom to the rescue! When I got to Orlando and realized I was being actively discouraged from attending the convention, I was thrilled. I am currently enjoying glorious day number two of beautiful weather, a coveted cabana by the hot tub and all the treats I can consume. And I finally took my first deep, relaxing, cleansing breath in months.
I’ve heard it said that, “if you want to heal, find water and stars” and I couldn’t agree more. I never would have taken this time on my own, so the gratitude I feel – to have the resources and support for this mini-getaway, to spend time with the son I’ve been missing like a lost limb since he left for college and to witness him thriving without me, so I can enjoy my solitude – is overwhelming. This sun-soaked respite offers the healing balm and sliver of peace I so desperately need before the holiday craziness begins in earnest, with Thanksgiving just around the corner.
Unpopular opinion: I do not like Thanksgiving. I have spent as much of my adult life as possible avoiding the Thanksgiving holiday. Since I’m not writing specifically to my therapist, there’s no reason to do a deep a dive on why but suffice to say the combination of my ambivalence about my youthful experiences, my lack of cooking skills and my gag reflexive horror when encountering large, dead, uncooked birds means I have found all manner of excuses to skip it.
My favorite tactic for avoiding Thanksgiving has always been the beach vacation. During our boys’ formative years, we’ve done various Florida coastal islands, the Bahamas, an ill-conceived week at the Disneyworld parks and what we now consider our second home, Jamaica. My “rum punch in hand, toes in the sand” refrain has become the non-holiday’s unofficial motto. I’ve spent many enjoyable weeks documenting my way through various tropical drinks with various waterfront views.
However, if I’m honest, the only thing that really matters to me is that we are together, just the five of us. It was easy when the boys were young and had no schedules of their own to just scoop everyone up and go to whatever beach beckoned.
- Full disclosure – the only easy thing about traveling with little people is their lack of schedule. The rest can be a nightmare. I mean, for goodness’ sakes, The Lovey Project charity evolved out of a story about losing “Seesh” the beloved stuffed dolphin on a beach vacation! But the gauzy, rose-colored film of distant memory makes it much easier to remember only the good parts.
Now, with two different college schedules and a high school schedule that includes basketball season, it has become impossible to vacation over the holidays. So we hunker down at home with a Beef Wellington (I’m still afraid of those dead birds and still can’t cook, so this is John’s job) and watch inappropriate holiday movies like “Die Hard” and “Bad Santa.” It is still wonderful, but the rum punch doesn’t hit quite the same in 30-degree weather.
So I am embracing this serendipitous break to calm my mind, re-center myself and take stock of all of the simple pleasures and joy that this life offers. I had a few dark days after the big Halloween Fundraiser event. That adrenaline crash took a physical, mental and emotional toll that I did not see coming. But time, perspective and this poolside view help me switch gears to grateful, re-energized and proud. It’s not often I give myself the gift of grace or praise, so water really must be magical.
As I pack up to head home, I may be bringing some mosquito bites and a random stripe of sunburn on the back of my neck, but I am also bringing this magical moment nestled safely in a corner of my heart. I can pull it out during the holiday chaos to remind myself that the water is always waiting, always ready to provide whatever magic we seek. In the meantime, I get to joyfully, gratefully enjoy home – crazy, chaotic and cold, it may be, but, as long as I have my crew, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Cheers!
“There’s always room for gratitude.. and another piece of pie.”